At Tommy Jarman Funeral Services, we know that discussing death with a child can feel almost impossible. Children experience grief differently from adults, their understanding changes with age, and they often express feelings through behaviour rather than words.
Approaching the topic with honesty, warmth, and reassurance helps children feel secure, even when life feels uncertain.
Children are naturally curious and notice when something feels wrong. Avoiding the topic or using phrases like “gone to sleep” can make things more confusing or even frightening.
Instead, use clear, gentle language that helps them understand what death means. For example:
“Grandad died. That means his body stopped working, and we won’t be able to see him anymore.”
Speaking plainly but kindly builds trust and gives children a realistic understanding of what’s happened.
Children often ask the same questions repeatedly as they process loss. They may wonder where the person has gone, what happens to the body, or if they will die too.
Answer as calmly and simply as you can, and remember, it’s okay to say, “I don’t know.”
What matters most is that your child feels safe, heard, and supported in their grief.
It’s natural to want to protect children from sadness, but letting them see your emotions teaches them it’s okay to cry, miss someone, and talk about it.
You might:
These small, personal acts can help a child process their emotions in a way that feels comforting and meaningful.
Grief can make children feel anxious about what might change next. Familiar routines – bedtime, school, mealtimes – provide a sense of stability and normalcy.
Offer regular reassurance that they are safe, loved, and cared for. Remind them that, although life feels different right now, happiness and laughter will return in time.
If appropriate, involve children in the funeral or memorial service. Let them decide how they’d like to say goodbye…perhaps by placing a flower, choosing a piece of music, or reading a short poem.
Taking part helps them understand that death is final, but also that love and memories last forever.
Every child grieves in their own way. Some may seem fine at first and struggle later; others may show their grief through play or changes in behaviour.
Talking to children about death is never easy, but it can also be a moment of love and connection. With honesty, patience, and understanding, you can help them begin to heal.
At Tommy Jarman Funeral Services, we’re here to guide families through every step…with compassion, care, and the reassurance that you’re never alone.
With warmth
Tommy Jarman Team
We know how it feels to lose a loved one, to feel lost and confused.
That is why our dedicated team will treat you and your loved one with dignity and care.
Our compassionate team will gently lead you through all the steps necessary to honour your lost loved one and provide honest expert advice in your time of need.
