Writing a eulogy is one of the most personal things you may ever do. It’s a moment to honour your loved one with words. Words that reflect who they were, what they meant to you, and how they touched the lives of others. But it can also feel daunting. How do you sum up a whole life in just a few minutes?
At Jarman Funerals, we’re often asked this question, and our answer is always the same: you don’t have to say everything, just say what matters most to you. With a little guidance and a lot of heart, your tribute can be both meaningful and memorable.
First and foremost, a eulogy doesn’t have to be perfect, it just needs to be sincere. Don’t worry about fancy words or poetic language. What people will remember most is the warmth, honesty, and love in your voice. If you’re nervous, imagine you’re telling a story to a room full of friends. Because in many ways, you are.
Start by reflecting on your loved one’s life. Think about the qualities that made them unique. Were they kind and gentle? Funny and spirited? Quietly generous? Think about the memories that make you smile, the lessons they taught you, or the little quirks you’ll never forget.
It can help to jot down answers to questions like:
You don’t need to follow a strict format, but a loose structure can guide your thoughts and make the writing feel more manageable. You might try something like:
1. A brief introduction: who you are and your relationship to the person.
2. Personal memories or stories: these bring colour and life to your words.
3. A reflection on their values or impact: how they touched others, what you admired most.
4. A closing message: a final goodbye, a thank you, or a heartfelt wish.
You don’t have to tell every story or include every detail. Choose a few moments that feel meaningful, and let them speak for the whole. Aim for five to seven minutes if you’re delivering it during a service. That’s often just enough to honour, remember, and connect without feeling rushed.
And remember: it’s okay to show emotion. Tears, laughter, even pauses are all part of the experience. You’re speaking in love, not performance.
If you’re struggling to find the right words, try talking it out with a family member or friend. Sometimes speaking your thoughts aloud first can help clarify what you want to say. And if writing isn’t your strength, it’s perfectly okay to ask someone to help shape your ideas.
Writing a eulogy is an act of love. And while it may feel heavy, it’s also a gift: both to those listening, and to the person you’re honouring.
At Jarman Funerals, we’re here to support you through every step, including helping with eulogy planning if you need it. Whether you’re seeking feedback, guidance, or just a gentle sounding board, please know you can lean on us.
With care,
The Jarman Funerals Team
We know how it feels to lose a loved one, to feel lost and confused.
That is why our dedicated team will treat you and your loved one with dignity and care.
Our compassionate team will gently lead you through all the steps necessary to honour your lost loved one and provide honest expert advice in your time of need.
